Spray Bottle Full of Pee

I just had a few beers with a guy that claims he delivers pizza and carries a spray bottle full of fresh pee.

He claims it's his own pee.

He doesn't use it unless he happens to get stiffed for a tip by a regular customer. Or if someone was a complete jerk and orders a replacement pizza for a really bullshit reason like the fact there was too much grease on a pepperoni and cheese pizza. In case it never occured to you, pepperoni and cheese has a lot of oil in it.

So next time you order pizza and tip way under 15-20%, remember, the guy delivering your food was sitting alone, unsupervised in their car with your food. Do you really want to take the chance he knows you're a cheapskate, he thinks you're an ass and decides your pizza needs a bit more flavoring?

After listening to this, I just know I'm going to tip better from now on.