Worst Case Scenario

You've been backing up your computer diligently for a year now because you've heard all the horror stories about computers crashing and losing everything. So, just when you think you've got all your bases covered, a burglar comes in and robs not only your computer, but your backup drive as well. Never thought about online backup, right? Next time.

You've been looking forward to your golfing trip with your buddies all week and Saturday morning is finally here. You're out on the course, hole 9 to be exact.

You hit a, how shall we put it- not so accurate shot- that rolls through the trees before it lands on the other side- surprisingly closer to the hole as you'd guessed. You continue onto hole 10, 11, 12, and uh oh... your arm starts to itch. The ball had rolled through poison ivy. Didn't think to check out the shrubbery it rolled through after hole 9 right? Next time.

You finally get those tickets to the Broadway show that your wife has been begging you to get all year. She's so excited, she can hardly stand it. You show up at the theater, sit down and as the row of attendants file into the row in front of you, the woman with the beehive hairdo and her mongo husband sit directly in front of you and your wife. You can't see a thing. Next time you might consider springing for closer tickets.

It's been a long day working in the yard and you've been promising your kids a trip to the water slides and pool since they woke up this morning. You get them all dressed and in the car, pay the ridiculous entry fee (these guys are making thousands, the place is packed) You've been in the tidal wave pool for maybe 5 minutes when everyone is forced to evacuate because a baby did his business in the pool. Maybe next time you should consider building your own pool...

-My Dedicated Server Provider Makes My Life Very Difficult

It's not about servicing the hardware anymore; it's all about servicing the hardware user. It's about support. I was quite happy when my dedicated server provider sent me an e-mail, so I could tell him what problems I had.
Subject: Message from your dedicated server provider. ID# 1066019. From: Michael Leven.

Hello. I was just contacting you today to see how things are going for you all at Liquidweb. Please don't hesitate to ask if there is anything I can help with, and also, I would appreciate any updates as far as how things are going for you here. I know your time is important, so I would like to thank you ahead of time for taking time for me.

Regards, Michael. Technical Sales Engineer.

Subject: Re: Message from your dedicated server provider. ID# 1057812. From: Ricardo d Argence.

Hello Mike, my deepest gratitude for intitating communcations with myself. Liquidweb has proven to be problematic for me, unfortunately. I'll tell you about my issues.

Earlier, one of my servers required a RAM upgrade. After turning in my ticket, it took one hour for the ram to be installed. Sixty minutes! I had to sit there all day, staring at my computer screen, not doing anything! A customer's site was inadvertently deleted by one of the techs, and support had it back, up, and running in no time. The customer hadn't even been aware of it! What's the hurry? Where are in such a rush to get to?

I'm changing into a very boring person. My friends speak daily about their problems with various clients and service providers. When people ask how my work is going, my only reply is a meek "Uhh, fine. Not a thing has happened since I switched to liquidweb!" I have a hunch that I'm starting to bug them. I need some issues to discuss!

I spend a lot of time with my girlfriend and pay a lot of attention to her, much to her surprize. I can no longer use the excuse "my server crashed so I have to try to fix it" in order to hide out. She has lost all trust in me. It was quite an error to let her see the Heroic support guarantee (what an error showing her the Heroic support warranty was!). There aren't many more places I can take her to eat, or movies that we haven't seen. How much is she paying you?

I need the extra adrenaline high so I have taken up car racing, boxing and rock climbing just to avoid flat lining! I have so little stress that I'm running the risk of becoming a Tibetan monk! Hopefully, you can help me before things grow dire. Now, please accept my excuses as I have to catch a plane. My life has been pretty boring lately, so I think I'll try jumping from a perfectly good airplane.

Regards, Ricardo d Argence.